I don’t know about you, but it seems to me like my questions are not going to be answered. You might wonder, what are my questions?
I am living my life following some guidelines, values, beliefs etc. Sometimes life is fun, happy and satisfying at other times it is awful, terrible, boring or exasperating. Some thoughts, some actions inspire and forge me ahead, a little later it dies...and I go/move on.
It’s amazing how some people manage to understand life better than others; they just don’t question and are happy to go on. I have gone on and asked them and once I got a simple reply ‘I don’t feel the need to question’. It is like a statement, it is there and it is true. Why do I feel the need to question? What is life about? Do I need to do something specific? How will I know what it is? Should I do whatever gives me fulfillment and satisfaction? Happiness? Isn’t Mind self interested in accepting what it is comfortable about and allow happiness and satisfaction. Won’t ‘Ego’, the ‘I’ factor maybe, play an important role in deciding that level of contentment?
How do I live? What is the best way to live? Should I try everything (good and bad) in life and gather the experience and knowledge. Should I overcome all my weaknesses, should I get out of my comfort zone, try harder? or just leave it? Aren’t my so to say weaknesses, weaknesses in the eyes of some rules made by humans, some standards made by humans after all. Should I be patient and see what all comes along? Should I be impatient and makes things happen for me? Why is it that when I try and try, I don’t get something while when I am not trying I get it, plonk!? Why sometimes my wishes are fulfilled at other times they are not? I have seen people promising god that they will do dash dash dash if they get whatever they are wishing for. Isn’t that bribing? When it was not meant to be, am I altering my destiny by forcing these to happen?
It’s a question of perspective I suppose. ‘Do what you are doing, as best as you can’ some would say. Live life as it comes, learn the lessons and carry on. Give all you have to give sounds like the perfect answer, so do I give unconditionally, irrespective of whether the person requires it? By acting conscientiously and being there for people, am I trying to be a bigger person than I am, should I wait for them to ask for help? Am I making others feel small by helping? Should they go through the process themselves? Am I making him/her dependent on me? Charity? Does it reflect that I am trying to be a bigger person than I am? Should I be different just to make a point? Should I be one and flow with all?
‘Meditate’, said others and I did. It made me calm, I felt at peace. I felt I am interacting with the depth of my Self or is it some power; some being that is within us and holds us all together? Or, is it The God, as some would call it? Or, is it just my imagination? Does chanting Mantras help? even if I ‘do’ understand what they mean? Most of them are in praise of ‘God/Almighty/Lord’. Isn’t that ingratiating ... and putting pressure? Of course, if you think about it, it is the thought process of humans after all.
When I am particularly drowning in these thoughts I come across some article in the newspaper or magazine, books or perhaps on TV that seems to be dealing exactly with what I am ‘wanting’ to know. I feel surprised that I should come across that particular article/program/topic of discussion at that particular time. Is it possible that, the article would have been there all along but gone unnoticed because I was not looking for it? Or, is it just a coincidence that I see the program at the right time? Or, is some force guiding me?
The questions are endless and I guess there are no simple answers to all these questions or maybe there are simply no answers to these questions. Do post your comments or send me a mail.